come to my window...

I’ve been on an Indigo Girls kick for awhile now. Finally, I decided to put on some of my other stuff, so I sent my iPod to “shuffle” and let it rip. I wonder why, I will go for weeks at a time, listening to the same bunch of songs? I’m not even really sure where I’m going with this, except that I put on Melissa E today, and realized again, for the 4 millionth time, just how much I love her, and always have. I was listening to “come to my window”, and the place where she sings, “What do they know about this love anyway?”….those of you who know her music will know what I mean. She holds that note forever, and I can listen to it forever, if there ever was such a thing as a “musical orgasm”, this would be mine. I’ve seen her live so many times, and it just brings back memories.

I remember the best time; she was doing a free show in SF during Pride week. She and Julie had just had the second baby ( I think) and she hadn’t been touring. They had the whole thing set up in front of city hall. It was one of those rare SF nights, balmy, warm, and wonderful. I was supposed to meet a friend and go see her, and he never showed up, so I just sort of hooked up with a “people train” and followed this group of people, and ended up in the very front, center, I still don’t know how I did it. She was so close to me, I could see her eyes, her hair, and her facial expressions. I remember how happy she seemed to be to be there. So incredibly happy. She hadn’t played in awhile, and she just let it go. She played for several hours; I still can’t believe how long she played. I’ve seen her bunch of times at “paid concerts” and she never played like she did that wonderful balmy night in SF during Pride…it was amazing, and I will remember all of my life.

Last night, on TV, I was glued to the History Channel. I watched “Decoding the Past”, and then “Life After Man”, talk about gloom and doom while going to sleep. It was almost enough to terrify me. They kept going on and on about how the planets were aligned for an eventual “doomsday” of December 21, 2012. If I was a superstitious person, I think it might have gotten the better of me, I know Nostradamus used to when I was a kid. Same thing, except they put a date on it. I kept thinking, I hope not…my kids are still babies….on and on, knowing this was pretty much assured to be not true, but there is always that “what if” in the back of my head. It made me say a little prayer to the universe though, to please take care of all of us.

I guess where I’m going with all this, is that listening to some really comforting music today eased my soul a bit. I hate that I do tend to get freaked out about stuff like that. That’s why organized religion has never been a good fit with me either.

When I was a kid, about 10 years old, I went to church with a friend of mine and her family. When I came home, I was completely terrified that the world was going to end, all the stuff in Revelations was what they had been preaching about that week, (unfortunately for me), and I was absolutely terrified. It took me months to even sort of get over that. Even then, I remember thinking that the “god” I loved would never be such a mean cruel sort of “god”. I could see through it even then.

My dad was an old soul, and he taught me well, even when I was a kid, to think for myself. To question what didn’t seem right to me, and not to play follow the leader. He taught me that there were good, kind human beings, and living your life in a good kind way and respecting everyone was what was most important. I thank him everyday of my life for loving me the way he did.

On 1/24/08, it will be my dad’s 78th birthday, and he will have been gone for almost 4 ½ years. He was one of the hero’s.

Peace,

OC