Adventures @ Walmart

I put off shopping all weekend, and finally at the last possible moment, I knew I needed to go to Walmart. I also knew it was one of those “stock up” trips...that cost big bucks.

So finally I put on my favorite orange old navy hoodie and get on my way.

Once I arrive, it’s what I expected. I headed for the pharmacy and got Benadryl, a Neti pot for my husband, and a few other things. Then onto the shampoo isle. This is always a challenge for me since most of the brands I’ve used for the last 20 years are no longer being made, or have “new and improved” formulas that I hate.

Why can’t I just count on going in there, picking up the two bottles that I have picked up for 20 years, and being on my way?

Speaking of which, they have put “Prell” back out on the shelves again..I kid you not. It smells the same as it did when I was a kid, I almost bought it, but then I remembered what it used to do to my hair and put it back, but still, I always loved the smell of that icky green stuff, especially the stuff that used to come in the tube. I’m digressing at a really fast rate here..sorry.

Anyway, I wander through the toy isle and snag a few Leapster games for my kids on clearance for VDay. Then it’s off to see if I can find gloves for the kids.

I went to the sporting goods store yesterday, and my friend politely reminded me “do you really want to spend $16.00 dollars a pair on something they are going to lose?”, so I put those back.

I found some cheapo gloves for 25 cents a pair at Wally world.

Finally I get to the groceries. Milk has gone up almost a $1.00 a gallon..WTF??? I put 4 gallons in my cart. Then there are the 2 18 packs of eggs I need. Then the 2lbs bag of shredded cheese for the mac and cheese I need to make for my work VD lunch.

Coffee...check....bread...check.

Right then, I hear a voice behind me saying, “I don’t want that cheap WALMART bread” right as I’m loading up on the stuff.

Now I love good bread as well as the next person, maybe more since I came from the land of good bread (San Francisco) but at the rate that my family fly’s through it, the good stuff is a treat at this point.

I turn around and it’s this guy talking to this woman who can only be described as “worn” looking.

I’m not quite sure what to do with the 3 loaves of “cheap” bread, so I just put them in my cart and keep walking. Then I go down to buy frozen waffles. They have gone up .50 cents a box since last week, again I’m thinking...WTF???

Finally...finally...I get to the check stand. It’s crowded, so I grab a cold bottle of water and open it and wait my turn. I’m so tuned out at this point, that I don’t even realize people are ahead of me talking. All the sudden, I’m totally aware of their conversation.

Let me describe these two to you. The man, in his mid 50’s or so, big bulbous nose, leather jacket, gelled hair, your normal, average trollish guy. Then there is the woman. She is about my age, with long brown hair. She is wearing some god awful cloying cheap perfume that is destroying the inner peace in my nose that my neti pot has created.

All the sudden I realize she is telling this guy, that she shaved today, but she doesn’t like the razor. She goes on in great detail about shaving her nether regions while I’m standing there with my cheap bread and my mouth hanging open my open bottle of unpaid for water in my hand.

I can’t believe this conversation, it can only be that she is trying to turn this troll on, in WALMART!!!!! Geeez.....what can I girl do? I drank my water and put on my iPod...and tuned them out again.

Peace,

OC