Transition into Sadness

When am I going to quit babbling on about this? I realized today I haven’t seen “her” in almost 2 weeks, the last time I had seen her before that had been almost 2 weeks.

The wind is blowing incessantly keeping me awake tonight, and my heart is crying out for some peace.

I don’t know how I feel about it. I miss my friend. She was the one person I’ve met up here who I “got”. We just clicked on so many levels. You know that giddiness when you make a new friend and you “know” that this person is going to be really important in your life? Well that’s how I felt. I think you can fall in love with friends, as well as lovers, but in this case, it was both.

I find myself acting like I used to with a boyfriend. Not wanting to be the “one” that calls. I think she is avoiding me, as I am her, because it’s awkward now that she has her new boyfriend. We had sort of worked out some place of peace before that. Then it is like she is all consumed, and what’s really odd is that the guy lives in another state, I think she just doesn't want to talk to me about it for very obvious reasons.

She has also just started a new job, which leaves her very little time, and I, being the married wife and mother that I am, have only very small windows of time where I can do anything. So it just sort of works out I guess where we are not seeing each other, but in that, we are losing contact. Losing that connection because it is not being fed.

It makes me sad on so many levels. It makes me sad because I really do just miss my friend. It makes me sad that the one person I connected with since I moved from CA is slowly leaving my life. It makes me sad just because, I don’t even really know how to verbalize it. I know I will make it through this, I just don’t want to lose this relationship. I wish I knew how she was feeling about it, but I don’t feel like I’m in the position to ask her at this point.

Thanks for reading...

Peace,

OC