6 Degrees of Separation

I did an experiment this afternoon.

I googled "lesbian blogs", thinking I would come out with some weird search results. Let's just say I was amazed.

When I first started by blog almost a year ago, I had no intention of it being anything but a private journal sort of thing. I was going through some major issues, and really had no one to turn to, or talk with them about, so I did what I have always done, and spilled my gut on paper, well, OK...not paper, but you know what I mean.

One fine day sometime in December, I googled "Closer to Fine" because I was obsessed with the song, and came upon this little blog named "Closer to Fine".

I started reading it.

Lurking, but reading all the same.

I really related to everything Nina had to say. One day, out of the blue, her blog just was gone, if I remember right, she password protected it.

For some reason, I took the chance and emailed her. I told her I wanted to be allowed back in her blog.

I didn't really think she would answer me, because she had no idea who I was, but there in my in box later that day was the nicest email from her. So that was the beginning of finding this blogging community that has fast become so important to me.

A world so supportive of what I'm going through at this point in my life, when I really had no where else to turn, and still don't really.

So back to my story, today for the hell of it, I googled "lesbian blogs". I came up with all sort's of strange results, many being porn sites. But, there were a few I clicked on, and they were really nice blogs.

I started clicking around on their blog rolls, and guess what happened? I found my way back home, to this community. It took many click's, and the randomness of it was what took me by surprise.

Click after click, I hit new blogs I had never heard of, then BAM...all the sudden, there was Lori's blog on someones blog roll. I'm on her blog roll, so it was like coming full circle.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, except to say that the world, may be big and large, but there really is a small community of us out there, holding hands, and giving each other unconditional support.

What an utter miracle this is to me. I'm sure there are people out there, who aren't who they say they are, but for the most part, I think most of us, although in varying stages of anonymity are being our honest, authentic selves.

This is not the first miracle I've had over the internet. I met my husband online back when it wasn't cool. I also joined an online group back in the fall of 2002 for pregnant mom's due in May of the next year.

Over the years, we have become a very tight knit group, and will be meeting up in a huge city in the Midwest this year for our kids "5th" birthday party extravaganza, it will be an all family event that we have been planning for years and has finally come to fruition.

I've formed incredible friendships over the internet. Friendships that are just as real, and just as supportive as real life friendships.

So where am I going with this? I don't know, except to say that I've found that there is a very supportive network of people out there who are making me feel like I'm not alone, that I'm not the "only" one to "find" out about myself in my 40s.

Like the song says..."It's a Small World After All".

Peace,

OC