BearsMountain: Family Crap

August 20, 2008

Family Crap

For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling bad for my mom, and feeing bad for myself.

I got an email from my aunt today. I really love my aunt, but I'm irked. Really irked. Somehow, they (my family) has pulled together my Grandma's 96th birthday party for THIS coming Sunday in Wyoming. This in itself is not irksome, the fact I got this semi cryptic email saying she hoped I could come down was. My grandma is 560 miles from me, EACH way. WTF?

My mom and my Aunt got into a fight last spring if you remember, but I asked my aunt, does mom know about this? No...she didn't.

Now I know they aren't talking, but if you are pulling together a 96th Birthday party for someones mom, to me it's common courtesy to let that person know in case they might want to come.

How on earth, even if my mom wanted to, could she get to Wyoming by Sunday?

I can't do this, I have two little kids, one of which will be going camping on that weekend. Also, the money it will cost to go down would be roughly $500.00 dollars between gas, hotel, food, etc...money I just don't have right this second.

My cousin who lives in MT was given enough notice to manage to buy plane tickets, so why wasn't I given that same opportunity?

I'm pissed. On my grandma's 90th Birthday party, no one let me know that they had planned a huge party at a hotel, newspaper there to cover it, etc...friends, family.

My mom knew, but wasn't going, and she assumed I knew. I didn't. So once again, I'm missing it.

Tonight I got a bit of a suck up email from my aunt, saying she was sorry, she was afraid of that, but she has only known a "few" days. Well, a few days would have been more notice than I got.

If this party was even on Saturday, I might be able to do it, but Sunday, no way. Small son is starting KG next week, I need to get things ready, and quite truthfully, I am looking forward to having just a few days with Little Miss and myself, she is so easy when it is just her and I. So I'm not going.

I feel bad, but I also feel bad that no one let me know. Fucked up family dynamics at it's finest. God I hope my own family will not be like this when I'm really an old crone.

5 comments:

Mama Llama8/20/2008 4:49 AM
OC, that is just unfair and inconsiderate. It would make me feel that I am not really considered part of the family. I am sorry.

Be well.
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Anna8/20/2008 5:29 AM
You'd think that a 96th birthday party would be planned to include everyone. My grandmother turned 97 years old last June, and we had a big old party in the park, on a day where almost everyone could come. If someone had been missing, my grandmother would have known.
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Landlady of Fat8/20/2008 7:19 AM
I feel your pain. Every Thanksgiving, New Years, birthday, death, you name it, I find out the morning of.

It's never more evident at that moment that I'm an afterthought to my entire family.

I can't tell you how good that makes me feel.
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zirelda8/20/2008 7:57 AM
Family dynamics suck. Had you known earlier you could have at least sent a gift...

Can you call while the party is going on? During our family gatherings there is always someone missing so we either call them or they call us while the happening is happening.

On another note, I've given you a love note on my blog. You can pick it up whenever it is convenient for you.
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Middle Girl8/20/2008 9:21 PM
That's just sucky. I had a similar experience with a 50th anniversary, though I was invited, my son and daughter were not. AND as it happens they had a whole table -empty-.

Wish your grandma a happy birthday, give her a call (before, during or just after) and see if a special weekend can be planned...maybe holiday weekend.

Peace.
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