It Makes Me So Happy...

My kids...that is what Little Miss keeps telling me today.

"It makes me so happy you are my mommy."

What mamma wouldn't just melt butter in her belly button?

Seriously my kids keep me sane. Hubby is keeping me not sane this weekend, big surprise? I'm not going to complain about it, but it's just a fact.

I finally took a step last night. I stumbled on an add for a LMFC that specializes in Lesbian/Gay/Coming out issues. I emailed her to find out if she takes my EAP (Employee Assistance Plan) plan, and she does. I'm making an appointment this week. I knew, when the time was right, I would find the right person. I had an instant "good feeling" from her add. She is from CA as well, which made it that much better. It's nice when I feel that people can really understand "my" world.

I am such a roller coaster. I go up and down. One minute, I'm fine, the next, I'm ready to pick up my kids, leave everything behind and get in my car and hit the road.

I continue to remind myself of one thing, through this journey, is that "it" will happen when "I" am ready. When on a soul level, I am ready to deal with the repercussions of what I'm facing.

I think starting this blog, has been my salvation in so many ways. I feel like I have connected with many of the people who are going to be major players in someway in the next half of my life. The support that I have received is palpable. I can't say thanks enough. I think, if I were trying to go through this alone, with nothing but my own mind guiding me, I'd be in a mental ward by now.

Life moves at the rate you are ready for it to move at I think. I am becoming ever more comfortable with who and what I am. I'm happy with a lot right now, even as I am unhappy with more. I feel such a sense of relief about the election, it's hard to believe how upset I was over it. It's not over, but it is a beginning of sorts. There is an article I read today that someone sent me, about President Obama called "The Joshua Generation." It's long, but it's worth the read if you have time.

So my dear friends, I am off to shower, finish cleaning up my kitchen and bathrooms and make some yummy enchiladas for dinner tonight.

Peace,

OC