My Cat

How do you prepare a 5 year old boy to lose a pet? I made an appointment yesterday to put my old cat to sleep in the morning. I will be taking my kids to preschool, then going home to gather his things, and take him into the vet so that I can do this awful task I have ahead of me. I’m steeling myself for it right now. I lost it a little last night, looking at old pictures of him, and seeing just how prominent he has been in my life. How did my cat go from being this fat, healthy shiny sunny being, to being this crumpled, old, cat that can’t move so fast?

I look at his beautiful face, the one with the black eyeliner and black fur collar, and I just don’t know how I’m going to do this tomorrow. I know I will. I know I’m strong enough, but thinking about it tears me in half. I don't want to!

Then, the worst will be yet to come, how do I explain it to my son, to my daughter? I’ve tried to prepare them, but I don’t know how to prepare them, I don’t know how to prepare myself. I’m trying hard not to think of it today, but it keeps creeping in, with slow heavy gnarly fingers grabbing my heart.

I know I’ll be fine, I’m just so sad we have to do this, that I have to do this. I owe it to him though. I will not let him suffer, I promised myself that years ago. Keeping him around now, would be strictly for my benefit, he is sick and old and can’t do anything to help himself. Now it’s up to me.

Peace, OC