I tried hard today to pull back, she sensed it, I'm sure.
I don't know how to do this. I want my life, I love my husband beyond reality, I'm actually "in" love with him, I find him sexy most of the time, he is a wonderful father.
But...there is this big but that is bigger than me.
I digress......
I stayed distant today, she called me after work, she called me at home, it just makes it so hard for me to figure out......I want her in my life, but now I'm afraid of how I feel, of how I feel about her, of how much I feel.
She is warm, soft, inviting, and she gets me. Maybe too much so. I feel tears welling up in my eyes.....because the only time I can really let these thoughts come to the surface is after a few glasses of wine...hence the title of my post tonight...Merlot....my friend...my lover.
I know what I want, I want to be her lover, her friend.....I want the soft kisses, the intimate looks, the gentle touches.
Please if you find yourself reading my silly little blog, don't think of me as crazy, just thing of me as someone who loves too much.
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