Midwest of Me

Still on vacation.

I have spent the weekend with so many dear friends, I don't want to leave tomorrow. I feel so good about this. Bad thing is, we are leaving tomorrow, it's over and I can barely stand to let these people go.

This, is my sadness tonight, and I suspect, when I finally do get to sleep, it won't be restful and it will be filled with the Indigo Girls trying to lull me into sleep.

The group of friends I met this weekend, we met on the Internet years ago. We are a close knit group of women with kids the same age. There aren't that many of us, maybe 35, and only about 1/3 of us met for this weekend, but it was so amazing. Even our respective spouses hit it off, and all of our kids had a major blast.

Although, for the most part I am having a great time. I have held to my vow to take my fat ass tot he pool every day with the kids. I'm having such a good time with my kids. They are turning into swimmers right in front of me and they are having an incredible time. Still, I feel myself drowning because the part of me that is so fragile right now, has been basically ignored for a week. I have very little time to blog, just sparse moments in the middle of the night while I should be sleeping. Still, tomorrow is another long day of driving, plenty of time for sleep.

I'm sorry if I haven't responded to comments, I have read them and I promise I'll get back on the bandwagon when I get home.

Hubby, he has been so charming with my friends. They all love him, even though they mostly know of all his outbursts and such. Still, it makes me mad that they get the good face when I get the "what the fuck ever" face when we get back in the truck. I'm really looking forward to this next week, I'm also really looking forward to getting home. I miss my garden. I miss my yard, maybe I'm not such a great traveler.

I think the hardest thing tonight, is because I know I won't see these friends for a very long time, and it was so easy this weekend, to be around a group of people I know so well, I trust them so much, and now just as fast as I got them into my life this weekend, they will be leaving again. Not leaving, but physically leaving. I will still have them in my life, but it's just so hard to feel such support, such love, such knowing, in a real physical way, then have to let it go.

I'm grateful to have been here, and so so sad to be leaving.

I know this post is probably making no sense, but it's 1:30AM and I'm very tired.

Peace,

OC