I've been doing cleaning therapy today. My two upstairs bathrooms are spotless. Rugs all in the washer, and everything shiny and smelling good. Then I went down into the downstairs bathroom, OMG.....I haven't been down there in that bathroom for a few weeks. It's hubby's bathroom, it's nastay and I never go in it. But today, I heard the fan on when I was throwing the rugs in the washer.
He's been smoking in there again. Geezuz I guess he thinks I am stupid. He's a smoker, he can't smell it like I can.
A little story, I'm going to digress here for a minute. When I lived in SF, with my best friend and my other house mate, I guess I thought the same thing. If I barricaded my room and smoked by the window they wouldn't know.
Of course they knew. I was an ass about it then, as I was about a lot of stuff. So there you go, karma coming back to bite me in the ass.
Still, I'm pissed.
I caught him doing it a few weeks ago, told him no, he got defensive, and now he's doing it. There are even cigarette packs in the garbage. So I threw those rugs in the wash as well, and I'm trying to decide if I'm going to clean that nastay room or not. Next on my list is the laundry room, which is admittedly gross.
My cat's stuff is still in it, and I haven't been able to get in there to do it mentally. I think today I can.
I've been doing a lot of processing today, and after reading my posts this week, I realized I almost sounded bi-polar. Up..down...up....down....happy...not happy. There is a reason, and it's not mental illness.
1. I've been PMSing for 2 weeks.
2. I've been dealing with hubby's issues and trying to figure out what to do about them.
3. My issues...the whole freaking pot of them.
4. I got a new camera (happy dance).
5. I have a crush on someone, and it's totally putting me in a good place mentally. I hope it's mutual, but it's nice. No cheating involved, but a nice mental connection that feels really good right now.
6. I'm over "her."
7. My baby is about to start kindergarten.
8. My step-dog is here for 2 weeks.
OK...so I guess that's enough to make me sound bi-polar.
Back to cleaning therapy. I was really thinking today, about my life. About what I want. It's getting easier for me to process, to think about options, to just explore my feelings.
Is it possible that mental cleaning just comes easier with actually physical cleaning your environment?
eh... i deal with all sorts of mental issues... for real... you sound nothing like me and for that matter i have never seen you at the crazy meetings!
ReplyDeleteoxox
nina
I absolutely think that a physical cleansing in your environment can bring about some mental cleansing as well. I've had some things pent up lately, and yesterday I cleaned our place from top to bottom. This morning I felt soooooo much better and able to deal. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteHm.
ReplyDeleteWhen I clean, I get really, really angry.
Something to think about.
For me, I mean. No reason for you to think about it :).
ReplyDeleteOK, I'll shut up now.
Oh, OC, you are sooo funny! Karma biting you in the ass, indeed! :)
ReplyDeleteI had a garage sale today. That has involved a lot of cleaning--and letting go of material memories, good riddance to little "mementos" of a life I tried to make happen. So cathartic, so good.
You're good, OC. You're doing what needs to be done at its time, not forcing issues so that they are done on your time. You're taking the time and reading the cues and learning what your next step is...and when it's appropriate to take that step. I see you doing yourself good right now.
Happy Saturday. Be well.
Yep, I have to agree. Cleaning my physical space somehow brings better order to my mental space.
ReplyDeleteBut I wouldn't tag you as bipolar. You're just someone facing potential changes, weighing your options and allowing yourself to feel your way through. Keep your chin up ~
Ok, so at least half or more of that list was positive which is wonderful. Here's to in with the good!
ReplyDelete