OK, I admit it, I've had it today with Small Son.
He is grounded to his room for the rest of the weekend. Why you ask?
Because he single handedly trashed my entire trashed house, including my own room. I have taken boat loads of toys away from him because he won't pick them up. Now they live in my closet. So this morning, after he was done trashing both the kitchen and the living room, I go up into MY room, and guess what I find????
That's right, every single toy that has been confiscated lying on my floor, I couldn't even walk through it. I should get rid of that stuff, but there is some expensive stuff in there, remote control jeeps, Tranformers, Lego's, Tinker Toys and the like. Then I walked into his room, of which I've been telling him all week he needed to clean up, since I cleaned and vacuumed it for him last weekend and he immediately dumped everything on the floor.
So, I've told him, he is going to be grounded to his room, until Monday morning, except to pee and bathe. He is going to eat in there. I've had it. I told him the only way out, was for him to pick up and organize his room, and that the only thing I am willing to do for him this time is vacuum.
Of course he is mad at me. I don't care. Next thing if he doesn't pick up the stuff, I'm going to confiscate his new toys as well. I don't know how to make a 6 year old take notice, but I figure taking his away his privileges is a start. We were supposed to make movies and art tonight on my computer, but that is off as well if he doesn't clean up his room. He has, if anything, made an even bigger mess since he has been in there the last two hours.
So wish me luck that Small Son is not quite as stubborn as his Ma.
Peace,
OC
that's the rule at our house: you spend the entire weekend in your room and will continue to do so until your room is cleaned up.
ReplyDeletefrom one bad parent to another: keep on!
I don't think you're mean. I would do the same, and have done, with my oldest. My 5 year old is a neat freak. She couldn't function in a room like that.
ReplyDeleteI think what you're doing is awesome...don't give in! you rock!
ReplyDeleteI think your son is sensing the tension in the house and is acting out because he doesn't have the vocabulary to express himself verbally. Should he be grounded? Oh, absolutely. Maybe later you could talk to him about what made him feel like he had to do that. If he'll talk about it. He IS male, after all.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
GG
I remember those same battles with my son (now 18)... and it was always trashed.. and no matter how long he was sentenced to stay in his room for, he still never was able to organize himself to get it cleaned up.. *sigh* He's better now at getting his "chores" done.. but oh MAN...twas like pullin' teeth with that boy at that age!! good luck!!
ReplyDeletei agree with grumpy granny. he is definately acting out for some reason. specially if this is new behavior. may i suggest asking your therapist if the kids need support, in the way of therapy, as well? it really helped my kids.
ReplyDeletewhatever you do, stick to your boundaries and keep following through! you're a good mom.
C
I agree with GG on the tension-reflection issue. Something I've learned from a friend with major home life issues and a boy who will not talk is that drawing pictures can often help as a release of pain, stress, anguish, anxiety that boys (many children in general, but most often in boys) simply often cannot verbalize.
ReplyDeletePerhaps that kind of an outlet would help. It may not be a picture so perfect of you and Dad in separate rooms; I have seen pictures of black tornado-like scribbles, very heavily scribbled, that says more than you can imagine. Or a graveyard with his mommy's tombstone--honestly, my friend did not know what to think when she saw that. But he got it all out and they could talk about it...and she has discovered that as an outlet for him.
Just a thought. My kids get three warnings then the item in question is taken away...either tossed or Freecycled. And they know why. I make it hurt, but they had warning, and I won't be wishy-washy about it. The house is kept much cleaner now because they know that I mean business.
Deep breaths, OC. You're doing great.
Be well.
I've been there sister! My oldest has a knack for digging a great big hole for himself with behavior. Small Son is exerting some independence and, as Grumpy Granny noted, he also may very well be reacting to the stress in the house right now. You're right to stick to your guns on this issue. It's hard, but in the long run it's the best way. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI know this isn't funny, but it kinda is. What ever demons small son was holding must have been exercised. Wow. That guy has a future in demo.
ReplyDelete