Hope All Around Me

Wow...

I spent last night lying in bed, feeling pretty peaceful. What a concept. Hubby seems to have made some sort of peace within himself, I suspect he has realized how unhappy he is as well. I'm seeing the part of him come back out that I like. We talked some last night, about property spits and stuff.

Also he is already saying he won't be picking up the kids "everyday" after school. What a relief to me he is coming around. I want the kids to see him obviously, but I want them to "live" with me. So he seems to be sort of getting it. I knew eventually he would, and I think the inactive part of him that has driven me insane for the last few years is the part I was counting on around the kids. The part of him that will see he has way more time to himself, and that he won't get up the hutzpah to actually fight me for the kids, especially if I'm not making him fight.

Oh, and "C", no worries, I have no plans or intentions on telling hubby about being gay. I don't think it's any of his business as I'm not seeing anyone. I think it would only serve to make things harder right now, and I'm not seeing anyone so that isn't an issue. That aside, it's not really why I'm leaving him. It's a factor sure, but it's not the deciding factor. It's his inability to get a good job right now, his addict stuff, and him spending too much money that is forcing my hand. I'd say the addict stuff is the biggest piece. Me being gay factors in for sure, but it's not top on the list as far as why I'm leaving him.

So I'm feeling hopeful that things are working out. I'm feeling hopeful that I'll still get Hubby in my life, but in a way that works for both of us. I'm feeling hopeful I'm not going to have a long drawn out issue around the kidlets...

We ordered new bedding for the kids last night, and he is going to go buy two new beds for the kids, one for his new place, one for mine. I still need to buy TV's...then I'm done. I really am starting over, I just can't believe it.

Peace,

OC