Yesterday Hubby went to look at the house that I turned down. He did it in his usual bumbling way that I don't approve of. I'm not sure why he wants to make everything harder than it needs to be. He took both kids with him. Why???? Both kids were already in their respective daycare places, there was no need to take the kids with him.
Anyway, he gets there, and the door to the place is open so he went in. Evidently as they are gone now, and they left the cat for a few days, the place was trashed. I told him it wasn't trashed when I saw it, and that it was probably because they were getting ready to get their stuff out. But now I'm digressing. He calls me, with that "tone". "This place isn't worth $1100.00 a month". I told him fine, then don't take it. Then he starts in on how Little Miss has to poop. He told her to "squeeze her cheeks", I kid you not, I heard it. I told him to stop talking to her like that, that he should have not taken the kids and since the door was already open to get off the phone and go take her potty.
It was just a night that reinforced to me why I'm leaving. He hasn't called or emailed about any other place, he just thought he was going to "get" this one I guess. I told him he'd better get busy, then he started in about that house again, and I told him, "you know what, you worry about it, I already have a place." I again got the "It's always so easy for you" thing he tells me. I then told him, well I emailed EVERYBODY on Craigslist that had a place even remotely acceptable, that he wasn't in a position to be so choosy, and the place costs what it costs.
I'm just so tired of it, and can't wait to just be out of here. After all this last night, we had the kids first official T-ball game. He wanted to go with me, and looked hurt when I asked him why. I know, I'm past being super nice, but all he does is sit there and tell me that I need to turn, I need to park closer to the curb, etc...
When we got there, he hopped out of the car and into his mouth went the eternal cigarette. God I'm so not going to miss this. I really do wonder how much he watches the kids when I'm not there, because he got the kids stuff out of the car, and started across the street. I had to grab Little Miss to keep her from following. I finally got both kids by the hand and we started walking way behind hubby, but what was frightening was that he didn't seem to notice. This whole time, their was a trail of smoke coming from him while he was flicking his cig into the wind, which was then blowing at us. And he wonders why I want the kids to live with me???
It was just hard to watch, and realize that I'm going to miss this like the plague. I really have been struck this week by just how happy I am to know it's almost over, and that I'm set in a place I can take care of the kids in a reasonable manner without him helping. As soon as those papers are signed, tough bitch is going to come out about the custody stuff as well. I want him to see the kids, but not when he is being an ass.
Then the kicker when we got home. He got out of the truck, got a few things out of the back and went inside. I got the kids out, and my stuff, and by the time we had got upstairs, he had already poured himself a glass of wine, and had taken a long drag of it right as I walked in. As soon as I came upstairs, he went down to his stoner shack and did his business down there, then came up, took another long drag of wine, and went out to smoke a cigarette. Can you say ADDICT loud enough???? All this time, I'm thinking, it's past the kids bedtime, they haven't eaten, and you are worrying about feeding your addictions. I got the kids dinner (TV dinners) and turned on a movie for them to watch while they were eating. All I can say, is why the fuck did it take me so long?
We will be fine, me and my kids....him I'm worried about, but I'm not stepping in to make it better, I just can't anymore.
Peace,
OC
You've done what you can for him. Now he needs to figure it out - including where he's going to live.
ReplyDeleteFor the kids' sake, I hope he gets hi act together.
(((Hugs)))
yep i agree with camlin.... you may have been his enabler in the past and may have taken care of things for him, and of him... but he needs to stand alone now, own up to his responsibilities, and as hard as it may be, you need to let him fall if he chooses to do so. fear not, god has his hand on your hubby, and he will continue to watch over him.... he will eventually work his shit out, OC, it may take a while... sometimes we have to fall to the bottom of the barrel before we pick ourselves up, kick ourselves in the ass, and begin our recovery. it takes what it takes. if you find it difficult to do that, and there will be moments when you do, try to mentally place him in god's hands. he is the only one who can handle hubby and hubby is the only one who can help himself.
ReplyDeletewith love, hugs and lots of caring,
c