Ok...I've been working again all night, from the time I got home from work, until 11:15pm. Seriously I'm in a complaining feel sorry for me mood. How on earth do I do this day to day? I love my kids, I love my husband, but I feel like I'm missing something.
I constantly think, and fantasize about my life going some other direction. Did I miss the turn somewhere. I'm happy, but I'm not content. I'm farther than I thought I would be at this point. I don't even know what I'm trying to say, and I think I'm glad no one knows about my obscure little blogget.
I'm going to say it...I am falling for her. I want to see her every day. I think about her constantly. I want my world, and I want a world I can't have. I don't even know if she wants that world. What I really want is a good friendship with a little more. I want to keep my life as it is, but I want know her. I am pretty sure it would freak her out if this even entered a conversation, but at the same time, I feel like it's mutual....hell...who the bloody hell knows anyway??????????
It's just been so long since I've felt this close to someone, this fast. I feel like I can say anything (well....I guess not anything), but almost anything. I've missed conversation, and with her I get conversation. I get the mental intamacy I haven't had in a long time. I've missed the femaleness in my life. I've missed the wanderlust ways my mind used to go. I've become settled, staid, boring. In her, and maybe I don't need to even go farther than good friends, but in her, I'm finding myself again. I can see myself coming alive again, and it's because of her.
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