BearsMountain: Awake again...and it's Sunday

June 30, 2008

Awake again...and it's Sunday

Insomnia again....arrrgh

The weather is too nice tonight. My body is tired, really tired, but my mind is zinging around in normal OC fashion. I sat out on the deck tonight for awhile, reading some blogs and shooting off some emails, until the bugs started eating me.

Before that, cooked grilled shrimp and then we had a campfire. It was so nice, a balmy warm breeze blowing around us, with the smell of wood fire, and a view of early bird fireworks in the distance. I really didn't want to come in.

I sometimes wish my body and my mind would work together and not fight each other so much.

I went to Walmart tonight with my little son. We did pretty good, he kept the whining to a minimum, and we had the nicest checker tonight. She had the same name as my daughter.

I also got a great deal of organizing for our upcoming trip done. All DVD's are in little cases, Portable DVD players put in their cases. Leapsters and games in cases etc..

Laundry tomorrow, then I'll start packing the trailer with the clothes we will need on our adventure.

Sadly, I have decided to go ahead and put my old cat Oscar to sleep Wednesday after all. After I wrote the post a few weeks ago about doing it, he picked up speed, and seemed to be getting better. That window has been really short, all the sudden, he is not eating well, didn't run from the vacuum today, and had an abscess burst on his back today. I think his life quality is now very compromised, and I don't want to leave him for so long, like he is. I think it's the kindest thing. So I'm going to do it Wednesday, then I'm going to take all his stuff, cat box, bowels and all that stuff to the dump. I'm going to have him cremated and then we will bury him under the quaking aspen tree in my garden with a small headstone. I'm OK with this. I feel ready. How is that? That I feel ready to put my cat down? I think it's because he is ready.

So I'm expecting a sad day this week. My old buddy is going to be leaving me until I hit the next life. I'll miss him terribly.

3 comments:

Anonymous6/30/2008 2:59 AM
i am sorry to read about your cat, but as you have written, it is for the best for him. he is ready, and that makes it "easier" for you to be ready, too. take care, poet.
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GrumpyGranny6/30/2008 4:58 AM
It's 4:57 on Monday morning, and I've been awake since 2 am.

SIGH.

Insomnia, my old friend...

GG

Sorry about your cat...
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Maria6/30/2008 6:30 PM
I like it that you aren't hanging on to that cat for dear life. My brother in law had a dog who he could bear to put down and it was awful watching that dog suffer so...

What you are doing is kind.
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My Sound Track

31 & Falling -- Chris Pureka
Beauty & The Beast --Stevie Nicks
Blood and Fire -- Indigo Girls
Bridge Over Troubled Water -- Aretha Franklin
Cold Shoulder -- Amy Ray
Cross Over To Me--Caitie Curtis
Drift Away -- Dobie Gray
I Knew I Loved You -- Savage Garden
I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry -- Cowboy Junkies
If I Needed You -- Lyle Lovett
Imagine -- John Lennon
In Memory Of Trees -- Enya
Me & My Baby--Amy Ray
Rock & Roll Heavens Gate--Indigo Girls
Romeo & Juliet--Indigo Girls
Sexuality -- KD Lang
The Weakness In Me -- Joan Armatrading
Three County Highway, Indigo Girls
Where I Stood--Missy Higgins
You Can Sleep While I Drive -- Melissa Etheridge
You're The Reason -- Antigone Rising

81 Things About Me

81 Things About Me

1. I'm blond.
2. I'm the oldest child.
3. I got my drivers license on my 16th birthday.
4. My favorite color is red.
5. I've never been skiing.
6. I never want to go skiing.
7. I went to catholic high school for one year.
8. My cat is 18 years old.
9. My car is always messy.
10. My kitchen is always clean, even when the rest of my house is a mess.
11. I spent years wearing acrylic fingernails.
12. I can sing the songs to every episode of the Backyardigans.
13. I can sing every song of the wiggles.
14. I have fat calves.
15. My favorite shoes are Birkenstocks and Keens.
16. I have a weakness for vanilla smelling anything body products.
17. I'm a burrito snob.
18. I'm a really good cook.
19. I love to cook.
20. I have a fire engine red Kitchen Aide mixer that I will never divorce.
21. I'm a Stevie Nick's fanatic.
22. I lived by the beach for 20 years.
23. I have a lot of Barry Manilow on my iPod.
24. I have a lot of Bon Jovi on my iPod.
25. I got my ears pierced for the 1st time when I was 10.
26. I have two kids.
27. I'm a terrible student.
28. I'm terribly nosy, and will google you.
29. My favorite fruit is watermelon.
30. My favorite TV show is Criminal Minds.
31. I love Sex and the City.
32. I'm trying to figure out who will actually go see SATC with me a the theater.
33. I've never owned a new car.
34. I'll probably never own a new car.
35. My pets all live to be extremely old.
36. I have a red car.
37. I nursed my son for 2 1/2 years.
38. I was only able to nurse my daughter for 4 months.
39. I still have boxes of albums and no turntable to play them on.
40. 50 is getting closer than I'm comfortable with.
41. I own a Ron Popiel Showtime Chicken Roaster.
42. I use aforementioned roaster at least once a week.
43. I used to be a chain smoker.
44. I quit smoking cold turkey. I've never had another ciggarette.
45. I'm a coffee addict.
46. I have really good hair.
47. I have really bad legs.
48. I love down comforters.
49. I love flannels sheets, but not with down comforters.
50. I used to be a fairly good potter.
51. I've had a computer since they were on DOS.
52. This is my 2nd Mac computer.
53. I'll never own a PC computer again.
54. My favorite junk food is Dorritos dipped in sour cream.
55. My favorite drinks are Tom and Jerry's.
56. I can't stand any kind of light colored beer.
57. I've seen a bear.
58. I used to be very shy when I was a child.
59. I'd kill for a Noah's Bagel.
60. I'm a night owl.
61. I babble in the car, I love to talk.
62. I never expected people to actually read my blog.
63. I am an expensive perfume whore.
64. I have a temper.
65. I work hard to control my temper.
66. I grew up in the desert.
67. I hate sushi.
68. I love Diet Coke.
69. I hate Diet Pepsi.
70. I made all my kids baby food.
71. My 1st car was a 76 Yellow Honda Civic Hachback with a black stripe.
72. I worked in an amusment park for the fee rides on the roller coasters.
73. I miss "MTV", the real old "MTV".
74. I have 3 piercings in each ear.
75. I have no tatoo's.
76. I really don't like chocolate that much.
77. I love gummi bears.
78. White gummi bears are my favorite.
79. I shave my legs every day.
80. I love Disco music.
81. I can drive a stick shift.