It's Worse Than I Thought

Last night I didn't go home until after therapy. I wanted to go write and chill and do some thinking.

I spent yesterday talking to Realtors, schools, and finally an attorney. A different attorney but one I connected with pretty fast. She is more spendy, but I don't really have a choice, as the other one doesn't have time for me and declined to see me. This one called me back, came recommended from two different sources, and I really just liked her. I have an appointment to see her on Thursday and am ready to write out that hefty retainer check.

So on with my story. I hate money. Have I ever told you that? I'm not super good with it, because I hate it and tend to ignore it. Well last night, I got up the gumption to sign up for online banking on our accounts (my joint ones with hubby). When I finally got signed in, I realized very very fast, that hubby has been making numerous (read: daily) cash withdrawals on top of what he spends for cigarettes. I added them all up on a tidy little spreadsheet I made, and guess what??????

The total comes to nearly $1000.00. Want to know how much he makes a month??? Roughly $1000.00. Goddamned....that's what is happening to all our money. I was so steamed. I realized I had been feeling guilty for buying extra groceries or a pair of jeans for the kids, and he's been fucking doing something with all of our money. Not only that, there were (count them) 4 overdraft charges of nearly $40.00 a pop.

I call the bank in near tears, because I didn't know what else to do. I got this woman on the phone, who was super super nice. Talk about a way to keep customers. Anyway, I'm digressing. When I told her what was going on, she immediately told me she had been "through a divorce" and totally understood how I was feeling. Not only that, she offered to remove all the overdraft charges.

When I asked her what I could do, because we are expecting some money, but I'm taking control of this, but until I get that chunk I don't want to let on what I know to hubby, she walked me through step by step what to do to stop him from withdrawing extra funds, told me how to open a new account with my name only, get the mortgage to come out of that account, and close the old one down without him knowing. So, that's what I'm going to do.

I'll tell you, if I was undecided before, that sealed the fucking envelope for me. I'm so mad I could spit fire and piss acid.

Last night, I also decided that I am going to need a few things for the house when I move. I ordered new pots and a few new knives, so they could be included in the "community" debt. The attorney told me that anything I incur on my cards after the divorce is filed, will be mine, but until then, all bets are off. I'm going to go buy a new vacuum today as well, and it's all going in my handy dandy little storage unit. I'm going to need these things, and I just am pissed that I'm going to end up having to pay for everything because he is being a sleeze.

I'm going to see about looking at the house I found, since I figure at this point, a little extra money out is money toward my mental health. I need out of this or I'm going to fucking lose it. I'm going to take all the money as soon as I get it, including the equity line, and I'm going to put it in my account and dole it out. He can then see just how fun his spending habits are going to be once he's spending his own money and not having mine to live off of. I will make sure the mortgage is paid.

I'm going to hire painters next week, as soon as we are out of this house, I'm going to hire someone to clean it top to bottom, and I'm going to go buy a new stove to replace the crappy one in here and make my kitchen look nice so that we can sell this place.

OK...I'm done ranting...need to get the kidlets up and moving and get to work.

Peace,

OC