Question #3

Question #3 comes from Mamma Llama.

What is the greatest thing you can receive this Christmas?

This sounds a little corny, but I think I have already received the greatest gifts I will ever receive. When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was be a mom. I always thought I'd be one of the people to have children early. It just didn't work out for me that way. I lost a baby to a miscarriage in my 20's with my first husband. I went through the grief of that. I spent years, watching my friends have kids, with me being unable to have them, first because I was unable to get pregnant again, then because I divorced and was single. I had a few scares then, always secretly hoping I would get pregnant, as I was in my 30's and starting to feel the clock ticking.

I took more negative pregnancy tests than I care to admit to taking, each one breaking my heart just a bit more. By the time I met hubby, I had all but given up on having kids. I resigned myself to it, and I think I was becoming "OK" with it, but at the same time, we agreed we both wanted kids, and though we wouldn't go to extreme measures to have them, we would do nothing to prevent them either. This went on for over 2 years, each year with me becoming even more resigned to not having children, and trying to be OK with this in my head.

Then one September morning, I started feeling sick to my stomach right before a big camping trip with friends to Yosemite. Hubby said, maybe you are "pregnant", and I sent him down to the store to buy a test, just to be sure before the big weekend of partying that lay ahead. I was sure it would be negative, as they were ALWAYS negative, but this time, damn....I got two lines. Sent hubby back down to the store, and 6 positive tests later, we were jumping up and down because we were so happy. He even started calling family at 6AM to tell them. Then we stopped on our way out of town for the camping trip and I had an actual blood draw done. The nurse called me the next day, in Yosemite, while I was watching Half Dome from our camp site and said I was "officially" pregnant. I'm not sure I've ever been as thrilled since.

So there you have it. I may have done it the hard way, but my kids are the greatest gifts I have or ever will receive. I am thankful every day that my life took the turn that turned me into a mother.

Peace,

OC

Question #2

From C...

What 3 things do you want to leave as a legacy for each child?

Wow....loaded question!

There are so many things I want for my kids.

One of the things that I think is important for me in instill in my kids is a sense of accountability and social justice. Living here in Montana, I’ve already had to have some conversations about race.

There just are not that many people of color here, and I’ve heard Small Son say things that are just not right, in a very innocent way, that he has picked up from his friends.

I remind him that his cousins are black. That one of my dearest friend, her kids and husband are black, that another one of my good friends is Chinese. I’ve tried to explain it to him like this. We are all the same on the inside, it’s our clothes that are different. We each have our own style of clothes, and with this comes our style of life. They are different colors, they are different flavors, but each style has it’s own delicious smells and tastes. I worry that living in a mostly white area will instill a sense of fear in them of people that are different from them.

That is why it is important to me to take trips to different cities and states so that they can be exposed to other cultures an ethnicity's.

The next thing I would like to leave them, is a sense of self-reliance. I hope that I can teach them to take care of themselves from an early age. I didn’t learn this, until my mid 30’s. I’m still not sure I’ve really learned it in a lot of ways.

I think the last thing I’d like to leave them, would just be the knowledge that I love them both with my whole heart, and I’ll never be sorry that I had them.

Peace,

OC

Question #1

It seems appropriate that the first question comes from MLC.

Dear OC,

If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be?

MLC


1. I think the first thing I would wish for, is a little more time with my dad. To video him, to hug him, and to just be with him for a while longer. I didn’t get enough time with him, and I wish I could have a few more weeks with him to just laugh, and soak up his energy. In that same vein, I wish that he was around for my kids. He would have loved having grand kids, and he doesn’t even know of Little Miss, and he only got to see Small Son a few times, and he was sick with cancer each time he did see him.

2. I wish I had actually finished college. I dropped out my senior year. I never got my degree, and I wish I had, I can’t see spending the money to go back at this point though. Maybe someday.

3. I wish my kids both a happy long life with lots of health, love and compassion.

Peace,

OC

30 Questions and 30 Answers

I saw this on my good friend MLC's blog, who saw it on Maria's blog, so I decided to swipe it for myself. I've been having a major blogging block and thought it might just be the answer to my Christmas prayers!

So here's the deal.

"30 Questions & 30 Answers"

Either the first 30 questions OR the first 30 questions I want to answer will be answered.

So fire away... (and I'll sort and respond).

Email them to me @

bearsmountain@gmail.com

Peace,

OC